Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Review: Flawed by Kate Avelynn

  • Publisher: Entangled Publishing
  • Publication date: 12/11/2012
  • Source: eARC provided by the publisher for review
Purchase: Amazon | B&N | The Book Depository

Sarah O’Brien is alive because of the pact she and her brother made twelve years ago — James will protect her from their violent father if she promises to never leave him. For years, she’s watched James destroy his life to save hers. If all he asks for in return is her affection, she’ll give it freely.

Until, with a tiny kiss and a broken mind, he asks for more than she can give.

Sam Donavon has been James’ best friend — and the boy Sarah’s had a crush on — for as long as she can remember. As their forbidden relationship deepens, Sarah knows she’s in trouble. Quiet, serious Sam has decided he’s going to save her. Neither of them realizes James is far more unstable than her father ever was, or that he’s not about to let Sarah forget her half of the pact . . .
 My Thoughts

I will first say that this book should come with a box of tissues and a warning label, "Will make you cry uncontrollably." I'm not even kidding. I was crying the ugly cry. Whimpering and loud sobbing, trying to catch my breath. Nothing I say can possibly do justice to this book. I have written and re-written this review over and over again because I just don't feel like what I am saying is good enough. As I am writing this review I have tears streaming down my face just thinking of the events in this book. This book was incredibly heavy and dark. It tackles some very serious topics. It is also beautiful. For almost the entire book I felt like my chest was constricted. Like the life was being squeezed out of my poor little heart. I was so invested in the story that I actually felt as if I personally knew the characters. I wanted to reach into the book and keep Sarah safe. I wanted her to not feel so much guilt. I felt the emotions along with them. This is one of the most emotional books I have ever read. It left me exhausted and aching inside. It is also one of the best books I have ever read.

Since the book is centered around Sarah, I will start by talking about her. This girl is so broken. She has never known any love except for from her brother. She can't remember her mother ever touching her at all. No hugs, no wiping away tears, nothing. The only thing she knows is trying to not make her abusive father angry, trying not to ever be at home alone with him, and hiding away in her room to try to escape him. Her brother always steps in to protect her, but he also controls her and keeps her close. Too close. I loved seeing Sarah finally start to try to break out and live her own life, but her guilt and fear keeps her from really being able to. She knows what she wants, but she is so terrified of hurting her brother, and then at a point scared of her brother, so she holds back.

Now I want to talk about James. As much as I wanted to hate him, to be disgusted with him, I couldn't. He was so messed up, but it wasn't his fault. He spent his whole life trying to protect not only Sarah, but his mother too. He wants nothing more than to get him and Sarah out of the situation at home before his father ends up killing them. Somewhere along the way James has developed a love for Sarah that is beyond brotherly. He is actually in love with her and won't allow her to be with anyone, or to leave him. He won't even allow her to have a job. She promised him when they were kids that she never would, and he intends to hold her to it. He gets increasingly more possessive and unstable as Sarah tried to have a little more freedom.  I really felt so bad for what his life has made him become.

The romance was both very sweet and sad. Sarah has had a crush on Sam forever, but never imagined he felt the same. When he makes it clear that he is interested in her things become complicated. It's everything she wants, but James won't allow it. He gets irrationally angry. She knows she wants to be with Sam, but also has to hide it from James. Sam is so sweet. He knows about what is going on with her family, he wants to protect her, and he loves her for her. He won't give up on them being together because he feels that she is the one he is meant to be with forever. Even as much as she pushes him away at times, he still refuses to let her go. He knows it's not what she wants. She loves him too, but every time she is going to choose to be with Sam rather than stay with her brother, James falls apart more and she thinks that James needs her more than Sam.She feels selfish when she thinks of leaving with Sam and being happy instead of staying with her brother.

I can't even go into the book much without totally spazzing and giving away too much. It's intense right from the start and it just builds and builds until it literally breaks you. I could feel the fear from Sarah. My heart was breaking right along with hers. I was sickened by the thought of some of the things that were happening. I wanted so badly for her to be able to fix her brother as she was fixing herself. My heart needed for her and Sam to be together. For her to realize that it was what was the best for not only her, but for him too. All of the emotions and intensity of this book led up to such a heart shattering ending. I don't think I will ever be able to find all the broken pieces of my heart. I am sure that some of them will be forever left behind in the pages of this book. I don't even know what else to say except for this is one of the most beautiful, dark, and emotional books I have ever read. Even a full five star rating doesn't seem like it's nearly enough.


27 comments:

  1. Wow. I love your review! For some books, whatever you write is not enough but you've done a great job describing Flawed.

    And as much as it hurts to read such intense realistic fiction (my favorite is Take Me There by Carolee Dean), I think it is a necessary aspect as a reader. Also, the kind of character-to-reader you had with Sarah is just the best kind there could be.

    I had no idea Flawed is such a compelling book. I will definitely be reading it!

    Sana @ artsy musings of a bibliophile

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    1. I seriously want to scream from the rooftops that everyone needs to read this beautiful book!!

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  2. Amazing review, Amy! Really emotional, and you have me so interested in this book, now. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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    1. I was crying writing this entire review... about 10 times. I just didn't know what to say and eventually I left it so as to not torture myself with my sobbing anymore.

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  3. Oh wow this sounds very intense and emotional. I feel like I'd need to be mentally prepared for it haha. I've actually been reading quite a few contemps lately so I'm very interested in this one! Especially that I rarely (or never) dislike a book you loved so much!

    Amazing review, muffin!

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    1. You need this book in your life!! I will snuggle and hug you when you need me.

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  4. Eek! I'm reading this one right now and totally loving it so I'm going to wait a bit to fully read your review. *So glad you loved this one. I can totally see why.* It's intense.

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    1. You must tell me when you finish!! Seriously, like text me and we can cry it out together. :)

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  5. WOW this sounds intense and really good! Nice review!

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  6. I purchased a copy of this book yesterday after reading my friend Jasprit's @ The Reader's Den review. I heard about how emotional and powerful the book is, so I knew I had to have it. Now after reading your beautiful review, I'm convinced that I made the right decision to buy the book. Thank you for the warning! I'm going to emotionally prepare myself before getting to this book! Lovely review, Amy! :)

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    1. I hope you love it!! It's one of the most emotional books I have read.

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  7. Oh my! That sounds like a very heart touching and intense book. It sounds good, really good and despite the fact that I will be a wailing baby from reading it, I am adding it to my TBR list. It definitely sounds like a book that will put you in an intense emotional situation!!!

    Great Review!!

    Magen Corrie

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    1. It's super intense, but totally amazing. If you like dark, emotional books this is definitely one for you.

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  8. Whoa --not sure I can handle this one right now. But it's on my new release list for next week, so I'll try to remind you to come link up this review!

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    1. It is insanely emotional. I loved it so much though!

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  9. I only read the first paragraph of this review because I am going to be reading this one and I am so over books sucking because my expectations are too damn high. But this sounds like the perfect book for me!!! I love needing tissues, I'll come back and read this once I have read it for myself!

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    1. Yay!! I can't wait to hear what you think!!

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  10. I got this book for review and can't wait to read it. I'm sure I'll be feeling all the emotions. I'm not sure how I feel about James loving his sister, but I can see they they come from a messed up family, and that really affects kids so it'll interesting to see how that all plays out.

    Excellent review Amy!

    Vivian
    Confessions of a Vi3tBabe
    Deity Island

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    1. The whole thing was so messed up, but it made for such an amazing story. The whole brother loving his sister reminded me of Forbidden. That book broke my heart too.

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  11. Flawed sounds so amazing and all I can think if is Hushed. I'm planning to read this in the next couple of days. I plan to be armed w/tissues and booze. Lovely review.

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    1. For real, I was a big sobbing mess. I expect updates when you read it.

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  12. Hmmm...were the tears worth it?

    Valerie

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    1. The tears were worth it. It was so, so good!!

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  13. WOW Yeah I had a feeling this would be extremely brutal so I was planning on passing. It kind of reminds me of Forbidden which everyone also said was devastating and I was never able to read. It is great when a book can be so emotional and powerful. I may read it when I have the strength lol Great review!

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    1. This did have similarities to Forbidden, but not the same. I think it's a mix between Hushed and Forbidden and was twice as heart breaking.

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  14. AWWWWWW now *I* need that box of tissues *joins in on the cry fest* This book sounds so messed up but at the same time SO EXTREMELY AWESOME...Seriously. I think I love Sam from your review and the synopsis.

    WHERE IS THE MONEY I AM HOOKED PEOPLE.

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