- Publisher: CreateSpace
- Publish Date: December 20th 2012
- Source: eBook provided by the author for review
18-year-old Vincent Hazelwood has spent his entire life being shuffled from one foster home to the next. His grades sucked. Making friends? Out of the question thanks to his nervous breakdowns and unpredictable moods. Still, Vince thought when Maggie Atkins took him in, he might’ve finally found a place to get his life—and his issues—in order.
But then Maggie keels over from a heart attack. Vince is homeless, alone, and the inheritance money isn't going to last long. A year ago, Vince watched a girl leap to her death off a bridge, and now he's starting to think she had the right idea.
Vince stumbles across a website forum geared toward people considering suicide. There, he meets others with the same debate regarding the pros and cons of death: Casper, battling cancer, would rather off herself than slowly waste away. And there’s quiet, withdrawn Adam, who suspects if he died, his mom wouldn't even notice.
As they gravitate toward each other, Vince searches for a reason to live while coping without Maggie's guidance, coming to terms with Casper's imminent death, and falling in love with a boy who doesn't plan on sticking around.
This book... wow guys!!! Seriously. I am just trying to figure out how to collect my thoughts and voice them to you here. I am a huge fan of Kelley York. Her writing is fabulous and she brings so much feeling and emotion to the characters and story that it's impossible not to get totally lost in it!! The tragic beauty that this book captures left me with a tear streaked face, but a smile and a sense of hope. When a book can bring out such powerful emotions, that makes it so amazing. This sounds like a book about wanting to end your life, but really it's about learning how to live. There is so much pain and anguish, but also a lot of love and a light at the end of the tunnel. I think that Kelley York captured this perfectly!
Vince is a lonely broken soul. He has been thrown from home to home after his parents gave him up for adoption when he was a baby. He has only ever really had one friend, and she seemed to turn her back on him and move on when he moved away with Maggie. Maggie is the only one who has actually wanted him and kept him. She saw a future for him and wanted him to succeed. When he loses her he doesn't know what to do. Is suicide really the best option? Would it be easier to die rather than spend each day being sad, angry, or lonely. The thing that he doesn't see that others do is that he is much stronger than he thinks. When he forms a friendship with Casper and Adam through this Suicide Watch website he second guesses things. Now that he has people to care about and to care about him, is suicide really what any of them want? When he was lonely and had no one to miss him, it didn't seem to matter if he was gone, but knowing there is people to miss him makes him feel like he can't hurt them by doing that to them.
Casper and Adam are both really awesome characters too. I love that Kelley York doesn't just make us feel what the main character feels, but makes us love the other ones as well. I felt like I knew them. I was sad watching Casper waste away as the cancer kills her. Adam is just so sad and lonely. His mother doesn't even notice he's around. It's like he is invisible. Adam and Vince have that in common. Not feeling wanted and feeling alone. Casper has a loving family, but she still feels alone because she has pushed away all of her friends and her boyfriend. She doesn't want pity. She just wants a normal life and to not have to be stuck inside, to be able to eat without being sick, to do what normal people do and not be staring death in the face. She also really wants for Adam and Vince to live and experience their life. They aren't unfixabe like she is and she wants for them to explore their future. They are all brought together through a site where people plan their suicide, but what they find in each other is a reason to live.
Deeply emotional, heartbreaking, but also beautiful and uplifting. This book was filled with so much beauty and hope underneath all of the sadness and tragedy. It is about them discovering themselves. Wanting to help not only themselves but each other. Learning that just because someone may not appear broken, it doesn't mean they aren't suffering on the inside. It shows the lengths people are willing to go through for the ones they care about, and not give up even when it seems like the easy way out. It's realizing that you care enough about someone to notice when something isn't right. It's about saving the ones you love and excepting the sad truth about ones you can't save. These characters will work their way into your heart and leave a lasting impression. This book was just incredible!